just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
