No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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