Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
