I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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