there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she pinky promised me she was 18
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
