is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Drunk is not a location!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
