I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
