About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
