I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
