Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
