don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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