so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
foreskin is a definite game changer
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
