I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
