when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
