dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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