I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
