she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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