what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
