So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize