We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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