I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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