i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
