she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
