At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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