How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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