wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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