It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
