I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
