its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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