i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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