Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
