How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
