all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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