Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
