I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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