I CAN MOONWALK!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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