nut hugger
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
