She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
