you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
did i just pee glitter
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
