He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
