i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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