Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
