i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
