Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
