The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
