no, he came in my armpit
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize