oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
