I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
