yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
