Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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