I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
