"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
