so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
