I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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