I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
worst night to have a conscience
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
