I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
