this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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